Adventures in Dating (Part 1 of a New Series)

So let me start out by saying that I am sort of kind of currently seeing someone. It is sort of kind of exclusive. And I sort of kind of say it this way because I really have no fucking clue if it’s exclusive or not, but that, my friends is not the reason for my starting of a new series. Now, occasionally I find myself looking at these dating apps despite sort of being in a relationship, mainly because I haven’t entirely deleted my profiles, just deleted the apps and continued to get notifications from them. If you are any kind of regular user of these apps, you know that the more you use them, the more notification emails you get. So I’m just putting it out there that occasionally I am clearing my inbox or…going through a dating app with my oldest daughter to find some of the more interesting profiles for our amusement. Sometimes I feel the need to respond to messages that I receive. And sometimes like today at 4am, I just find gold. And since I’ve found gold, I want to share it with all of you.

So let’s begin and we’ll do this one like a play-by-play.

Right off the bat, this guy introduces himself as A… and says he has an honest question. When someone says they have a question for me, it’s almost like a challenge…and I’m 😈 always up for a challenge. But then he goes right into asking me if I am judgmental. Let me make this clear: EVERYONE IS JUDGMENTAL!! However, what you choose to do with your judgments of people, whether to change how you treat them or not, is another story. But I understand that what he means is “are you going to be mean if I say something people would judge me for?” Well let’s move along and see how I answered that question.

So I feel like I answered the question honestly, that no I don’t typically base my treatment of people on the first impression or first weird thing they do or say to me. No, in that way I’m not judging you. But will I continue to give you any information about myself or further enable you into my life based on these things? No, of course not for my safety, but more for that of my childrens’.

But wait, hold up! What are you offering to pay me for? You said babysitting right? Well let’s go back to your profile that YOU filled out….

You yourself stated that no, you do not have any children and clearly you answered these questions and didn’t just leave them as default. So, moving on…

He then proceeded to try to call me through the app, which I didn’t even realize was possible until he comes up on my phone ringing like he’s got my phone number. So aside from the fact that it’s 4am and my kids are sleeping, the whole thing is just fucking creepy.

He then proceeds to give me his phone number and beg me to call him and send me creepy voice messages doing the same. And as I explain in my response, if what you have to say is something you don’t want leaving a paper trail, I’m not interested in it…because it’s not safe for me or my children. But there you go again offering to pay me to babysit your non-existent children.

<<<<<< em>oh…oh no. The screenshot speaks for itself in regards to my opinion.

So then I am called mean, which…is fair. But I try to turn the tables a bit and tell him why I came off the way I did. And even give him a little bit of advice on where to go to get what he’s asking for without being judged and how to bring it up to women without looking like a predator.

I then try to be nice to this man by saying not to be ashamed of the things that he likes but to go about getting them in a way that doesn’t put people off. But then he proceeds to change his story into one where he supposedly now DOES have a child that he is trying to get on a schedule. It still isn’t clear to me why I would be babysitting HIM. And no sir, nothing about what you are asking is “normal” in any way, shape, or form. But again, I’ve said that I don’t judge you for having whatever this fetish is, it’s just not my thing.

So to sum it all up, he didn’t get what he wanted but I sure got a hell of a story and now a new thing to write about in my blog since I’ve been feeling a bit neglectful of late. Unfortunately I did not get back to sleep and probably at this point, won’t, but that is all for you, dear readers. All of this exhaustion is worth it to know you’ve read and laughed at a little piece of my life.

I can’t say with any certainty whether or not the next part to this will be another “just checking in” situation or a genuine foray into the dating world, but either way, it shall be amusing. And hey! Thanks for reading!

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